“To become a spectator of one's own life is to escape the suffering of life.”

As charming as I seem, there is one thing everyone should know before entering into a relationship with me...

I am not a homebody and I am most certainly not domestic.

I've been told as I get older I will get interested in things like decorating, furniture shopping, cooking, and embroidery. One day I will separate my whites (or do my laundry in general) and frame pictures and put them on floating shelves that I have installed myself. I will worry about the couch cover being dirty or the recycling bin being full and buy decorative hand towels. That being said, to this day I can honestly say these things do not cross my mind.

What does interest me is fun. All kinds of fun. I like laughing and I like beer and I like yoga and I like beer after yoga (when I should be drinking those trendy little coconut waters). I like horror films and illegally drinking champagne in central park and playing in the ocean and playing in the ocean naked. I hate running but I like to walk. I like making fun of people. I like dive bars and skee ball (and bars that combine both). I like buildings and I like drawing buildings and I like bricks and I like laying bricks and, surprisingly, I like to work and I like to learn.

So instead of finding me home on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday you can probably find me lollygagging around Manhattan or Brooklyn looking for something that will make me smile or at least something that will ameliorate the series of neuroses that have been plaguing me for the past 24 years. Even though I'm consistently at work part of the week and less consistently working on my thesis the rest of the time, no consecutive day is the same. That is one of the wonderful things about living in New York.

Therefore, I wanted to share what a typical work day is like in the world of Kristin Drawdy.

First:

Although I always tell myself I will go to Bikram at 6:30 am to get it over with, I never do. Therefore, I arise in my new yellow room in the lower east side perpetually late every day. This morning I awoke from a nightmare so I allowed myself an extra 15 minutes to read my dream book under the covers with my air conditioner going full blast. This morning I found out that I am dreaming up anxious situations as a result of being disavowed in a therapeutic or romantic relationship.  I will now refer to my dream book as Captain Obvious.

This puppy is old, half-ass installed, and I found it on the roof but it has changed my life. I no longer have to sleep naked on wet towels with 4 fans blasting on me. Instead, it's penguin pajamas and blankets until the cows come home!

Next, I get ready for work. I had time to wash my hair this morning which is atypical of my personality (see previous posts). These Kate Spade shoes happen to be the only thing I own that make me look any way professional.

Suddenly, I noticed my laundry is full (not to mention kind of smelly) and I have a party to go to tonight. Luckily, I live in China town and therefore:

Live directly above a place where my shirts can get laundered! And because I can't be bothered to sit in a laundry mat, they will wash, fold, and deliver them to me after work! I hope I look as sharp as the lady on the left at the party.

After an indecipherable conversation with a Chinese woman that ended in the words, "Tomowoah, Tomowoah, Go!" I take a nice stroll up Orchard Street and realize, after passing Jill Zarin's little fabric store, I can't possibly work without my morning coffee. And therefore stop at:

88 Orchard Street! I think it is important for everyone in New York to have their routine morning coffee shop where they know your name (just like Cheers!). This is my new one. In the past 3 weeks they have discovered that my name is spelled k-r-i-s-t-I-n, I like my coffee with just a little bit of milk, they get a dollar if they call me skinny, and I have to have my avocado, white cheddar, and tomato pressed croissant to start every morning.

Finally, I arrive to work right on time at 10:30 (30 minutes after everyone else does)!  And spend my mornings doing work, gchatting, and chugging water because of my pathological fear of dying from dehydration.

Around 2 o'clock I go to lunch.

I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

3 hours later, I'm in a New York state of mind. And by New York, I mean Manhattan. Time to hop on the J train and get to a dive bar! And what better lower east side bar than Iggy's. Bartender Pirate Mike's 3 dollars drafts made these two wenches feel plunderfull!

PBR makes you look hip, cigarettes make you look sexy, but Virginia Slim's? Laura's face says confused.

Post Virginia Slim confusion, one must drown their thoughts in tequila. The only thing better than tequila is free tequila, the only thing better than free tequila is free tequila at a magazine launch party and the only thing better than a magazine launch party is a magazine called LATIN LOVER! I kid you not...here is Laura trying to teach me Spanish:

As you can see it was a very effective lesson:

I believe I told a lamppost "mucho gusto" on the way home.

So there you have it a day of errands, work, art, parties, culture, love. And that, my friend, is only hump day.
Just wait until you see the excitement that happens on a day with no responsibilities. Until then Adios Amigos! And Lampost if you happen to read this, vamos a la playa en la manana!

"My one thought is to get out of New York, to experience something genuinely American." -Henry Miller

One piece of advice I got when I first moved to New York was to remember how important it is to leave. At first this perplexed me. My thought process was "I moved here to create a life. I have everything I need. There is always something to do. Homeless people call me pretty." However, after having lived here for a year and a half, I finally understand what people were talking about. Although it is nice to be able to have leisurely walks around the city, have vegetarian options available at every restaurant , experience the joy of mariachi bands on the subway, get free booze at the expense of gallery owners every Thursday, kick pigeons, go to museums, and generally enjoy to the excitement and culture New York has to offer, it is easy to forget that people other places smile at each other, drive cars, drive their cars through fast food windows, don't look like models, one-stop-shop at Wal-Mart and gigantic grocery stories (we're big on the Pig where I come from), drink Budweiser at the expense of a blue collar job, and generally don't have the elitist attitude of city people. Therefore, instead of leaving New York and going to another sub-par city it is much more enjoyable to go to a completly opposite place. Whether it be Georgia, North Carolina, or New Hampshire (see below), it is the best way to remind a mildly snobby person (like myself) of my humble upbringings.

Here's a couple of tips on how to have the perfect day away from the city:

1) Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and can bring you from a good mood to a great mood. In order to writhe in ecstasy from you're morning meal. You will need the following:

A view like such. Particularly important are the maple trees, visibility of a mountain/lake, and permeating sensation of the right to bear arms.

A porch and patio furniture to enjoy the previously discussed view (manx waitress is an added bonus)

And most importantly a lovely, little blue-eyed chef to have the following prepared upon your awakening: cheesy potatoes, vegetarian sausage, a sesame seed bagel prepared with an over easy egg, more cheese, and dill, coffee, and MIMOSAS!! You will need this much nourishment for a day of drinking Coors on a floaty in a lake.

2) That being said, while spending a day drinking by a lake remember:

If you are veteran (like the gentleman on the left) you will be sure to not forget your sunscreen, swimsuit, towel, and beach bag to hold it all. If you are a first timer (gentleman on right) it is essential to wear your vacation cap, sunglasses, and man purse to hold your linen button down.

Additionally, it is also important to remember that after eating your artificially flavored msg snacks (cheddar chex mix and lay's potato chips) and drinking the 5+ beers that your friend has opened with her teeth, to always wear life jackets. Poisoning yourself with processed food and alcohol is always preferred to drowning. Safety first!

3) After a day of drinking, nothing is better than a drive! Be sure to always have the hottest wheels on the road.

Here we have a metallic brown Nissan Sentra (little green hatchback Toyotas will also do the trick)

And don't worry about swerving, Covered Bridge #44 will be there to catch your fall.

3) When it comes to drunk driving, its the destination rather than the journey.

And what a better destination than the Hebron Village Store. Enjoy free popcorn, taxidermy, $20 cigarette cartons, and the like directly across from the town square where the entire church congregation has come out to enjoy a cover band all the way from Mooseville, NH! Here, you can also find:

Push Ups! My only complaint about this is that they removed Fred Flintstone from the packaging.

4) After a trip to the Village Store, you may be in the mood to search for beavers.

Here at address #38 Quincy Bog, Suite 1, we have a beaver dam. Although no one is sure exactly what a beaver sounds like and we were unable to spot one, we did get to see this amazing view. And thanks to not completely thinking through my scented lotion choice, I'm still itching from mosquito bites! Nothing makes me feel more at home.

Even though that's all the pictures I have, the day must be completed with sweet potato fries dipped in maple syrup, outdated trivial pursuit, and naturally Common Man beer!

And there you have it the perfect not-new york vacation day! Now it's back to stress, scowls, and not doing the work I'm suppose to:)

"One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries. "

I'm known to be a tad absent minded.

Although I recognize that at the ripe old age of 24 forgetting to pay my electric bill, leaving my debit card at bars, having a fruit fly epidemic going on in my apartment and getting my car towed are completely unacceptable, no matter how hard I try to be sophisticated there are still few people who are more of a mess than I am.

Sometimes, I go all day on point. I look nice, I accomplish my errands, I buy toilet paper, then, I get home feeling good about myself and my keys are locked in my apartment.

Every now and then, these little quirks make me feel bad about myself. But on days like today when I'm being optimistic (even though I just gave myself a black eye), I realize that my slight abnormalities are what make me interesting. Thus, I get pretty excited when I see other things that are even more abnormal than I am.

Here are a few curious little things that have happened in my world the past couple of weeks:

While sitting under a Mark di Suvero sculpture at Governor's Island, but what to my wondering eyes should appear but a gigantic teddy bear and his little yellow friend. I was quite surprised later to find out that it was actually a black man hiding behind the bear mask.  Because the unitard left little to the imagination, I am fairly certain that the yellow man was not.

I've seen fire and I've seen rain but I never thought that I would see a microwave/vending machine combination that serves onion rings, french fries and bagel bites! This, my friend, is the American dream.

The label here says Vegetable and Fruit Tonkatsu Sauce. I know what a vegetable is. I know what a fruit is. I kind of know the difference between the two. But what the hell is tonkonsu?

Upon further investigation, I found out that tonkatsu means a pork cutlet invented in the 19th century. 
I'm not sure what the asian words say on label but perhaps I should write them and tell them that the American translation for "a sauce that goes on everything" is pronounced ranch dressing.

I've blamed farts on frogs, my mom's dog, squeaky floors, my desk in high school, my shoes, and the line leader in kindergarten. But thanks to this whoopee cushion floating in a puddle, I got away with one while walking down second avenue!

Usually competitive advantage is gained by offering consumers greater value either by lower prices or by providing greater benefits and services that justify higher prices. However, the snow cone market on Coney Island utilizes a different strategy. In this instance, 2 carts park themselves right beside each other and see who can ring their bells the loudest. Little do they know, the guy behind them offering free foot massages always goes home a winner.

And speaking of winners at Coney Island, I spent $40 while I was there on nacho cheese covered french fries from Nathan's and PBR at Cha Cha's on the board walk. However, this little Vietnamese must have gained at least $3 picking cans out of the trashcan. When it comes to simple lessons in economics, this is the place to go.

After I was done taking marketing notes from the snow cone cart workers and trash can men, I got an opportunity to check out some eye candy. Here we have a man jogging in a turquois speedo and mullet with 2 prison inmates behind him. I almost had to jump into the muddy, broken glass ocean to cool myself down after this amount of sexual torridity.

And finally, I'm not exactly sure what this is but I also blamed a fart on it.

And there you have a "Sorry I haven't posted on my blog. Here's what I've been up to." UPDATE!

Coming soon: Live Free or Die New Hampshire Fun Time!