Although I recognize that at the ripe old age of 24 forgetting to pay my electric bill, leaving my debit card at bars, having a fruit fly epidemic going on in my apartment and getting my car towed are completely unacceptable, no matter how hard I try to be sophisticated there are still few people who are more of a mess than I am.
Sometimes, I go all day on point. I look nice, I accomplish my errands, I buy toilet paper, then, I get home feeling good about myself and my keys are locked in my apartment.
Every now and then, these little quirks make me feel bad about myself. But on days like today when I'm being optimistic (even though I just gave myself a black eye), I realize that my slight abnormalities are what make me interesting. Thus, I get pretty excited when I see other things that are even more abnormal than I am.
Here are a few curious little things that have happened in my world the past couple of weeks:
While sitting under a Mark di Suvero sculpture at Governor's Island, but what to my wondering eyes should appear but a gigantic teddy bear and his little yellow friend. I was quite surprised later to find out that it was actually a black man hiding behind the bear mask. Because the unitard left little to the imagination, I am fairly certain that the yellow man was not.
I've seen fire and I've seen rain but I never thought that I would see a microwave/vending machine combination that serves onion rings, french fries and bagel bites! This, my friend, is the American dream.
The label here says Vegetable and Fruit Tonkatsu Sauce. I know what a vegetable is. I know what a fruit is. I kind of know the difference between the two. But what the hell is tonkonsu?
Upon further investigation, I found out that tonkatsu means a pork cutlet invented in the 19th century.
I'm not sure what the asian words say on label but perhaps I should write them and tell them that the American translation for "a sauce that goes on everything" is pronounced ranch dressing.
I've blamed farts on frogs, my mom's dog, squeaky floors, my desk in high school, my shoes, and the line leader in kindergarten. But thanks to this whoopee cushion floating in a puddle, I got away with one while walking down second avenue!
Usually competitive advantage is gained by offering consumers greater value either by lower prices or by providing greater benefits and services that justify higher prices. However, the snow cone market on Coney Island utilizes a different strategy. In this instance, 2 carts park themselves right beside each other and see who can ring their bells the loudest. Little do they know, the guy behind them offering free foot massages always goes home a winner.
And speaking of winners at Coney Island, I spent $40 while I was there on nacho cheese covered french fries from Nathan's and PBR at Cha Cha's on the board walk. However, this little Vietnamese must have gained at least $3 picking cans out of the trashcan. When it comes to simple lessons in economics, this is the place to go.
After I was done taking marketing notes from the snow cone cart workers and trash can men, I got an opportunity to check out some eye candy. Here we have a man jogging in a turquois speedo and mullet with 2 prison inmates behind him. I almost had to jump into the muddy, broken glass ocean to cool myself down after this amount of sexual torridity.
And finally, I'm not exactly sure what this is but I also blamed a fart on it.
And there you have a "Sorry I haven't posted on my blog. Here's what I've been up to." UPDATE!
Coming soon: Live Free or Die New Hampshire Fun Time!
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