"My one thought is to get out of New York, to experience something genuinely American." -Henry Miller

One piece of advice I got when I first moved to New York was to remember how important it is to leave. At first this perplexed me. My thought process was "I moved here to create a life. I have everything I need. There is always something to do. Homeless people call me pretty." However, after having lived here for a year and a half, I finally understand what people were talking about. Although it is nice to be able to have leisurely walks around the city, have vegetarian options available at every restaurant , experience the joy of mariachi bands on the subway, get free booze at the expense of gallery owners every Thursday, kick pigeons, go to museums, and generally enjoy to the excitement and culture New York has to offer, it is easy to forget that people other places smile at each other, drive cars, drive their cars through fast food windows, don't look like models, one-stop-shop at Wal-Mart and gigantic grocery stories (we're big on the Pig where I come from), drink Budweiser at the expense of a blue collar job, and generally don't have the elitist attitude of city people. Therefore, instead of leaving New York and going to another sub-par city it is much more enjoyable to go to a completly opposite place. Whether it be Georgia, North Carolina, or New Hampshire (see below), it is the best way to remind a mildly snobby person (like myself) of my humble upbringings.

Here's a couple of tips on how to have the perfect day away from the city:

1) Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and can bring you from a good mood to a great mood. In order to writhe in ecstasy from you're morning meal. You will need the following:

A view like such. Particularly important are the maple trees, visibility of a mountain/lake, and permeating sensation of the right to bear arms.

A porch and patio furniture to enjoy the previously discussed view (manx waitress is an added bonus)

And most importantly a lovely, little blue-eyed chef to have the following prepared upon your awakening: cheesy potatoes, vegetarian sausage, a sesame seed bagel prepared with an over easy egg, more cheese, and dill, coffee, and MIMOSAS!! You will need this much nourishment for a day of drinking Coors on a floaty in a lake.

2) That being said, while spending a day drinking by a lake remember:

If you are veteran (like the gentleman on the left) you will be sure to not forget your sunscreen, swimsuit, towel, and beach bag to hold it all. If you are a first timer (gentleman on right) it is essential to wear your vacation cap, sunglasses, and man purse to hold your linen button down.

Additionally, it is also important to remember that after eating your artificially flavored msg snacks (cheddar chex mix and lay's potato chips) and drinking the 5+ beers that your friend has opened with her teeth, to always wear life jackets. Poisoning yourself with processed food and alcohol is always preferred to drowning. Safety first!

3) After a day of drinking, nothing is better than a drive! Be sure to always have the hottest wheels on the road.

Here we have a metallic brown Nissan Sentra (little green hatchback Toyotas will also do the trick)

And don't worry about swerving, Covered Bridge #44 will be there to catch your fall.

3) When it comes to drunk driving, its the destination rather than the journey.

And what a better destination than the Hebron Village Store. Enjoy free popcorn, taxidermy, $20 cigarette cartons, and the like directly across from the town square where the entire church congregation has come out to enjoy a cover band all the way from Mooseville, NH! Here, you can also find:

Push Ups! My only complaint about this is that they removed Fred Flintstone from the packaging.

4) After a trip to the Village Store, you may be in the mood to search for beavers.

Here at address #38 Quincy Bog, Suite 1, we have a beaver dam. Although no one is sure exactly what a beaver sounds like and we were unable to spot one, we did get to see this amazing view. And thanks to not completely thinking through my scented lotion choice, I'm still itching from mosquito bites! Nothing makes me feel more at home.

Even though that's all the pictures I have, the day must be completed with sweet potato fries dipped in maple syrup, outdated trivial pursuit, and naturally Common Man beer!

And there you have it the perfect not-new york vacation day! Now it's back to stress, scowls, and not doing the work I'm suppose to:)