Growing up not knowing whom is married to whom, why I have 4 parents and everyone else has 2, and an unexplained blonde step-cousin child should have been a lot more baffling. The most baffling part about the situation is that despite rampant amounts of dysfunction..we work. I would even dare to say we work better than the majority of families I grew up with. I use to phrase it as we put the "fun" in dysfunction until I realized that was lame.
That being said, it is never normal to have to have all 5 of your siblings sit down and tell your parents that they aren't allowed to get married again. Three times was enough. However, Cher's dad in clueless worded it best, "You divorce wives, not children." And even if my stepsister's dad and my mom are married, not married, dating, best friends, or whatever, we were sisters (off and on) for the majority of our lives and will continue to be for the remainder.
AND...Today happens to be Amanda's (4th) 27th BIRTHDAY!! In honor of her being such a badass, I've decided to dedicate a blogpost to 10 reasons why Amanda Rocks. Here we go:
1) Her Lifestyle
She's a little peach by the beach! My big sister happens to live in a cute little house right by the water in Neptune Beach, Florida. And when I'm having a rough time in my life (whether it be a break up, a bad haircut, I blew out a flip flop, or got too much anxiety in H&M) I am always welcome to hop aboard a flight and come spend the weekend riding around on beach cruisers, lounging around at a tiki bar, karaoking at dive bars, skinny dipping in the ocean at 4 AM, floating around on inner tubes with a polar cooler full of Miller Lites, and drinking crazy ass Nicole's Pina Coladas. It's the perfect way to heal a heartbreak or get rid of some major city-angst.
2) Love of Dive Bars
I have never met a girl in my life who has the balls to go into some of the places that Lil Boozi has gone into. Although, since my move to the North, I have not had the pleasure of joining in on the fun at such roadside attractions like Hart's Bar and Claxton City Limits, I did get to join in on the fun at the truckstop bar in Gainsville with the stripper pole contest, pool tables and huge sign out front that said "Ladies drink for free ALWAYS!"...They even let Sarah in without any shoes.
3) Her own vernacular
Besides the advent of the word "Beezi" to describe jagerbombs (which were a very big part of our lives circa 2008). Amanda has also coined such terms as "Lil Boozi" to describe herself, "Crazy Ass" to describe Nicole Habl, "Mini Bottle" to describe me, and "Schoochie" to describe things such as "get your ass to Florida" or "Time to go see UGA play"
4) KBBF!
In an effort to make friends, get some exercise, and find a group of people who consume more beezis than anyone I've ever met, Amanda joined a kickball league. From this came KBBF (kick ball boyfriend- real name Jaime Hennesey). Although they are still together 2 years later and living together, the name has stuck. Jaime comes in handy in such situations as hiccups (seen here giving me a lemon covered in sugar), keeping one abreast of what's going on in Jerseyliscious, and introducing me to my unforgettable lesbian crush in Westchester.
5) Reality Television
Amanda's DVR list is full of so much trashy television that on days in Florida where I am too sunburned to hit the beach and too hungover to hit the tiki bar, I can lay on the couch all day and not run out of things to rot my brain. We even went so far as to change her first name "Cheryl" to "Kheryl" so the we could join the Kardashian Klan!
6) Birthday Parties!
If there is one thing Amanda is good at, it's celebrating herself. Whether it consists of shotgunning beers, strawberries filled with Malibu and topped with whipped cream, cupcakes at jess and julies, shrimp and grits, or me convincing myself I got roofied at Gingers (see above picture) or that I broke my ankle while climbing a tree, Amanda's repeated 27th birthday parties are always a gas.
7) The advent of the 48 Hour Dress!
The 48 hour dress (n): cotton dress that can be worn all weekend at the beach. Serves as a swimsuit cover up, night gown, and is cute enough to be worn with flip flops to beach bars at night.
ex. When packing for the beach, one should include 48 hour dress, swimsuit, undies, toothbrush, and mascara.
8) Sarcasm
Although sometimes Amanda's humor is sarcastic to the point that you will not get it unless you are on her level, you always know you said/did something dumb when you get the face pictured above.
9) Never forgets her towel
In fact, you're life is made up of a million little fibers.
10) 5 was always better than 4
(to the tune of the Brady Bunch)
Here's the story of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up three very defiant children (and one angel).
All of them had brown hair with gray streaks, like their mother,
The youngest one gets drunk and likes girls.
Here's the story, of a man with webbed feet,
Who was busy with a spoiled rotten brat,
There was 2 of them, 3 including Mimi,
Yet they were all alone.
Till the one day when the lady met this fellow
And they knew it was much more than a hunch,
That this group would somehow form a family (multiple times).
That's the way we all became the Sancken/Webb Bunch.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIL' BOOZI!!
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